slowly moving up..

i called the lady who i interviewed with last week and left her a message because the people at the hotel told me she'd be back in the office on monday in the morning. i just hope that i didn't annoy her with my persistance because i know she had originally planned to have me start tomorrow but i told her i was pretty busy this week, so she scheduled a training next monday. i hope she still has that down in the books and i don't get there and she gave the job to someone else who was actually available to work tomorrow.. because that'd be just my luck. it says on my calendar that i have a virtual occupational therapy appointment tomorrow morning. the ONLY thing i've been really working with occupational therapy is to get my driver's license again.. so HOPEFULLY this is one step closer to that. it irritates me how people that have their driver's license seem to disregard what it's like NOT to have your driver's license and have the ability to go where you want, when you want. the thought of how i should just tell people i wanna get a scooter since no one will assist me to get my driver's license grazed my mind but then the realization came to me that people would just assume i'm a handicap tool and screw me over more- erasing any possibilities to make myself more able to do more things. plus- a scooter takes up a lot of room. it's like when i had my wheelchair in the apartment in burnsville. i think back to those days- i was taken to the emergency room multiple times because my heart beat was racing/irregular. i read somewhere that a person's heart starts beating irregularly when a person gets depressed. that doesn't surprise me since i honestly didn't have much of an appetite a lot of the time when i was living in burnsville either. you think it could've been because i was depressed that i was wasting my life doing what my family wanted and living where my family wanted for my family's CONVENIENCE?! i was unemployed and depending on social security when I knew i was capable of MORE. didn't concern my family though. whatever's more convenient for them! so i decided that i wasn't gonna get any help getting to where I wanted and i'm slowly getting more job opportunities. it also helps that i'm not an ignorant cunt like where i was brought up.. i volunteer for things that help EVERYONE and it's actually got me further in life when i make an effort to help others. that is also the reason why certain people will never get opportunities to better themselves. it's unfair that they seem to think they can act like they care about me- to cling to me and drag me down to their levels because they can't handle seeing someone who came from the same place they did actually progressing in life. just because you can't do something- does NOT mean that i can't do it. chances are (depending on who you are- i'm just assuming my jealous family stalks me and reads this) i've been to places you'd never dream of and done MORE than you'll EVER do in life. you can thank your entitlement and ignorance for that. that includes YOU too- mom & amy (my sister.. because there may be other amys reading this).